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Look: No Really: Buy These.
T-shirt hell: Where the BAD shirts go.
(Available in all colors.)
Look! Feed me!Me: Mother. Picture-Drawer. Blogger. SuperWoman. Tired.
Everything you read on this blog is actually true. As in, this is a genuine, non-fiction blog. Generally, I don't name names when the parties concerned are (a) related to me and/or (b) under the age of majority, and therefore no matter how funny they are, unable to give their informed consent to have their hilarious but true commentary on the ridiculousness of life publicized globally. I do, however, skirt the issue of crediting them by admitting it was not ME who came up with their jokes, but "some kid." (Works for most of us.)
Tag Archives: alien from space
French Kiss First, Introductions Later.
Yet swerve he did NOT, and put his arms around me, and kissed me like Bogart kissed Bergman in Casablanca.
Yipes.
Careful to keep my New York cool, I then shook his hand and said:
“How do you do? I’m Elizabeth. And your name is?” Continue reading
Posted in America, confidence, family, humor, life, love, people, relationships, reporting, satire, self-image, work
Tagged alien from space, America, animatronic, attraction, author intrusion, basic intelligence, Bergman, big fat wet sloppy kiss, blob of goo, bluff, Bogart, boldly, Californunauts, Captain Obvious, Casablanca, charming, Closely-Guarded Girl Manual, confidence, contact, cool, Cosmic Galactic Nexus of Belevolence, dares, deliciously humid, Disneyland, disreputable, Dixie, earth, egomaniacal, equator, extraterrestrials, flipside of mainland America, flung itself, foreclosures, Georgia, gobsmackingly realistic, guitar, happen to be reading this, head west, Hollywood, humor, impulsive redheads., Invader Zim, inviting to strangers, Ira Levin, kind soul in a cold-hearted world, life, lost your faith in humanity, Mass media, movies, nerve, New York cool, oncoming car, opportunity, Oscar, Oscar Wilde, outside world, play chicken, positive, regurgitate cliches, research dart, satire, scary, silly, steal kisses, stupid, suck you so hard, sunny, swelling orchestra strings, swerve, symbolic, television, The Secret, The Secret Closely-Guarded Girl Manual, The Stepford Wives, the Sun, tirade, tomboy, twelve inches, unemployment, USA, weird, Welcome to California, whistling Dixie, Yipes
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